Finding Hope in Texas Read online

  The bell sounded and I took flight again. Each class was the same, I had to get going before Jody and her doppelgangers could assemble, get to my next class and in front of the teacher’s eye, out of the battle-royal known as the hallway. Now I could see how prisoners would get shanked in the middle of a riot. The pandemonium of it all as the classes intermingle was like herding cats. Don’t dare get out in the middle, you could get caught between the passing hordes or you might get trampled. Quickness and power-walking was my only restitution.

  Finally, I made it to lunch and today it was hamburgers and crusted-over tots. I found my way over to Lizzy. She immediately smiled up at me until she noticed the dark red eye.

  “What happened to you?” she sounded worried.

  “Oh,” I had forgotten about my eye for the most part. “I...I fell yesterday.” It didn’t even sound convincing to myself.

  “You fell? And got that? Hope, what really happened?”

  “Nothing. Really.” Except I got the crap knocked out of me by some lunatic cheerleader. “It doesn’t even hurt.” Jeez, I sounded like a battered wife making up excuses for her drunken husband. I could tell she wasn’t going to drop it. When I looked at her, I couldn’t see any resemblance to her dad, nothing. They could have been strangers. She was also so sweet and he seemed on the brink of telling everyone around him what he really thought of him or her. She leaned forward to me.

  “Look, if someone is picking on you on your third day here, you should tell a...a teacher or something.”

  I couldn’t control my eyes. They darted over to Jody’s table to see what they were doing. It seemed like many of them weren’t there, including Jody. I breathed a sigh of relief.

  “I can handle this myself, Lizzy. Can we drop it now?”

  “Okay, but let me know what I can do for you. It’s not right that someone did that to you.”

  I gave a small smile to the girl for being so friendly, but the irony fell over me like a cloud, how Lizzy wanted to help me but seemed either to have put herself in seclusion or was placed there by her peers. I wanted to find out which one it was.

  “Can I ask you something?” I opened up, quietly.

  “Sure.”

  “Don’t take this the wrong way, but why do you sit here, alone? I mean, don’t you have friends you like to hang out with, even at lunch?”

  Lizzy looked puzzled for a moment and I was hoping I hadn’t overstepped my bounds. Lord knew being thrown off the “loser” table was the last thing I needed now.

  “Yeah, I have a few band friends and others, but I don’t know. I could sit with them or over there with the science crew, but I just like to be alone sometimes, away from all of this...mess. And this is the one time of the day that I’m not expected to be doing something or be involved. I can relax, clear my mind, read a book, whatever. It just helps me cope with the craziness of high school.”

  “Well,” I smiled, “I guess I should feel lucky that you invited me to sit with you.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about lucky, but if you got that black eye from the Brown-Nose Squad over there, then you’re all right in my book.”

  I couldn’t help but giggle. There was the sardonic response that would have come from Mr. Peet. “I accidentally talked to Brad. Jody threw a he’s-mine hussy fit and socked me in the eye.”

  Lizzy nodded. “I figured it was something like that. She’s a...bad person.

  “I’ve heard curse words before, you know,” I grinned. Lizzy’s face flushed.

  “I don’t like saying things like that, but yes, she and her friends are those, that’s for certain.”

  “I wonder where the herd is today.” I questioned. “I know they’re around here somewhere.”

  Our conversation changed from insane cheerleaders to our classes and finally to band and orchestra. I learned that Lizzy was not only in band but also in science honors. As she talked, she began to remind me a lot of...well, me. It wasn’t that she and I were loners that had found each other like some emo-goth kids that thought the world sucked as well as everyone in it. No, we just liked our space, our cocoon that we could get away in for even the briefest of time, and our bubble that kept the idiocy of high school drama at least an arm’s length away. Yes, we were probably judged for that, but who wasn’t getting judged by how they looked, their clothes, or their hair? I didn’t know if it was just Jimmy Carter or all high schools where one could be lifted up like a hero by wearing a $200 pair of shoes or thrown in the dirt for wearing something that came from Wal-Mart.

  “So, I think I’m going to take your dad’s college class that starts next week.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah, he said it would be better than the regular class that I am in now.”

  “Well, don’t let him be a jerk to you. And if he is, you just let me know,” she chirped.

  “I will. Say, what did you mean yesterday about your dad and his uniform? Was he in the army or something?”

  Lizzy smiled one of those I have a secret and not telling you smiles. “Oh, you’ll find out.”

  With that, the bell rang and we emptied the remnants of our trays in the nearby trashcans and headed in our different directions to our lockers. I went through the halls and came to my mine, finding my books were all laid out on the floor. What the heck? Someone has been in my things! I looked around but didn’t notice anyone. It could only have been Jody and her friends. Jeez, when is this going to stop? With a quick flip, I opened my locker and a large pile of manure fell upon the floor right in front of me. Yes, manure, crap, cow poo! They had stuck it in my locker, my locker! Jody called me that yesterday. “You are just crap that we allow to stain our floors.” And here it was. Not only did they call me this, now they were practically shoving me down in it. I glared down the hallways and didn’t see any of them, but could hear the laughter kick into high gear from all those who passed by. I sighed. Well, at least they were nice enough to take my books out first. Lucky me.

  Chapter Three

  I saw the girls later in gym, where the whole knockout incident came down the day before. With a cool, crisp air finally making it this far south, we had moved indoors and were practicing basketball in the school’s oldest gym, also from the Jimmy Carter era. They had three, but the coaches were not about to allow some off-season track runners to take up time in the new gym when they were in the middle of district play in basketball. Supposedly, we were in the hunt for the championship this year in both girls and boys basketball. Of course you could hardly tell it. For myself, I was from out of town and didn’t know any of these players, so that was my excuse for not caring. For the rest of the student body, it just seemed that school spirit was beneath them, that they had more important things to do than whoop and holler about a round ball going through a hoop. My excuse seemed better.

  When I made my way on the court, I already knew that my sullen expression was going to give everything away. Mom always told me there was no easier book to read than my face, and Dad said if I was ever to make a good lawyer, then I needed to play more poker and learn my own tales. Because of that, and that the girls involved in the manure-to-locker prank were already staring at me with gleams of vindication shining across their faces, I knew I had little to no time to find my revenge. If I was to try to attack Jody, her friends would have me down in a heartbeat and I would be the one to get in trouble. Plus fighting was not my expertise. I could try to hurt her while we played basketball, but again the numbers would be against me. Maybe accepting what was done and being the bigger person would be my only resolve? I was never much for revenge anyway.

  My pace slowed as I felt the adrenaline in my body start to fade away, until I saw him, Brad, sitting in the bleachers with a few of his friends. They were all dressed out like they were waiting to do something. This would be it. I felt like the Grinch as he came up with the plan to steal Christmas. It was fight or flight and I was choosing fight and he was my target. I made a bee-line toward him, feeling my ponytail bouncing off the
back of my head as I went forward. This girl was going to learn the hard way: never tick off a redhead! I knew Jody’s eyes had to be on me, waiting for my reaction to the manure. But my plan was going to be a direct assault on her heart and revenge would be mine! I scrambled up the steps and made a swift move between two boys that were sitting around him. He looked up at me, but didn’t say anything. Such eyes. Stay focused. As sensually as I could muster, I slowly planted myself in his lap, wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him the biggest kiss he had ever seen before! Our lips entangled with each other as I heard the whoops and hollers come from all over the gym. His hands moved on my lower back, supporting me. Finally, I pulled back, making a popping sound with my lips. His eyes were like saucers as I stood up and began to walk away.

  “Was it good for you, Bradley boy?” I asked in my best Marilyn Monroe voice, giving a quick wink, but not waiting long enough for him to answer. When I clipped back across the court, you could have heard a pen drop. All eyes were on me, the instigator, and the antagonist of this little high school drama. I didn’t say a word, didn’t stop to actually take part in physical education. The ball wasn’t in my court anyway; I had just slammed dunked it on Jody and yelled “boo-ya!” And I wasn’t about to play anything with them, even under the careful supervision on our coach. My day was done and I was going home.

  I probably dressed the fastest in my life. If a snide comment could give me a black eye, what would making out with Brad right in front of Jody do? God, I’m sure they wouldn’t even find my remains. My jubilation was turning into fear. My adrenaline was telling me to run to the hills as fast as I could and hide up there for the rest of my life. Panic sat in.

  “I am so dead,” I said to the empty room as I threw everything into my bag and grabbed my cell phone.

  “Come pick me up, NOW!” I practically yelled at Mags.

  “What? What’s wrong, honey? School doesn’t let out for another hour.”

  “I...I’ve got a stomach cramp. I feel really bad. Can you just pick me up, please?”

  Mags sighed on the phone. “I guess. I’ll have to lock up early. Be there in twenty.”

  “Okay, hurry.” I slammed the phone shut and ventured over to the door, cracking it to see if anyone was in the hallway waiting to pounce. The coast looked clear. This might be my only chance to escape. Come on, Hope! You had enough gumption to kiss the cow’s boyfriend, but you can’t take your first step out of the locker room where they will kill you for sure? Get the heck outta here. Crap. Now my consciousness was starting to sound like a Texan.

  This was a first for me. Mom would have had my head on a platter if she would have found out I was skipping school, even if it was only P.E. But any reasonable person could see this was justified, that I needed a head start away from these animals. I pranced down the hallway, like a gazelle fleeing a lion on the African savanna. This would be much worse if I got caught, though. Lions were relatively nice and just severed the jugular of their prey. Jody and her friends were going to do much worse to me if I was caught, and as I learned from yesterday, the hallway was no place to be. It felt like forever, but I finally pushed open the large metal door at the front of the gym and scurried out into the parking area. Ah, open space. At least it gave me a fighting chance not to be cornered like a rat on a sinking ship.

  But now I had to wait, and wait, and wait longer still. Twenty minutes standing in the cold winter breeze was certainly not the shortest time in the world. The parking lot was empty of people and I suspected if any adults came by that I would be immediately sent to the office for leaving class without permission. And as if my thought had been his cue, a man in a dark suit began to descend on me from the school building. Oh crap! As he came, his body language told me that the day had been tough for him too, as he walked with finality-to-the-day expression written upon his face. That is, until he saw me. Quickly, his authoritarian demeanor returned to take on one more misbehaving child who he needed to show the error of her ways.

  “Hello.”

  “Hi,” I replied, but in a noncommittal way.

  “Young lady, what are you doing out here?”

  “I was having cramps so I got permission to go home. I’m waiting on my mo...aunt to pick me up.”

  “Oh?” His voice cringed and I knew it was from that one word: cramps. Men would rather hear that the world was ending in the next five minutes before they ever heard of a woman speak of the physiology of Mother Nature. His gaze shifted back and forth as though he had been thrown off his trajectory by this new information. “Alright then, carry on,” he lamented and began to continue on his path, away from the birds and the bees. No more questions, no grilling, no water boarding. Cramps. Mr. Dark Suit doesn’t like them. I’ll have to make a note of that.

  It was just a couple minutes later when Mags pulled up in the Ford POS and I flew into the passenger seat.

  “Drive,” I ordered, looking over my shoulder at the doors to the gym.

  “And good seeing you, too.”

  “I’m sorry. I just feel really bad.”

  “Oh, honey, should I take you to the clinic?”

  “Um, no. I mean, if it gets any worse, then maybe.” Yeah, if it gets worse than I’m feeling fine but scared of having the living crap beat out of me, then we should definitely look into it. Mags put the car in drive and we were off. I had escaped and could feel a gleam of comeuppance fairly dealt cross my face. This had to end the onslaught of attacks against me, the defilement of my locker, the misfortunate accidents wielded upon me during practice. I sighed in relief. It had to be over.

  As soon as we got home, I ran into the house, across the living room, down the hallway, and shut and locked the door to my room. If I hid out in there, maybe my “sickness” would be a bit better in a couple hours. Charlotte Bronte would keep me company for a while. Ah, Jane Eyre, if anyone was as a depressing sole as me, it is you. Of course, you are only a fictional character, and even in the end, you find your family, gain an inheritance, and got Mr. Rochester in his tarnished condition. I sighed. It always worked out well in these classics; I guessed that was why I had been such a fan and why they were still popular after two hundred years. And even though I had read them many times before, this time they really made sense, that maybe the best part of someone’s life could be just around the corner, that some small change could put you on the greatest path of your life. I truly hoped so, probably even more than Barack Obama had hoped for change. Still, I wondered if Mr. Rochester wore a hook for a hand or just had a nub. Did Jane tease him later in life and call him pirate? Before I knew it, I opened my eyes and it was 6:30 p.m. I could hear Mags tapping on my door.

  “Hope, you okay? I haven’t heard anything from you since we got home.”

  I had fallen asleep and quickly stretched myself awake. “Yes, I’m fine. Just took a nap.”

  “Okay, well. Dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes. Why don’t you come out and we will eat together, okay?”

  “Okay,” I howled back and I could hear her leave the door. I jumped from the bed and grabbed my laptop. I didn’t do it very often, but I decided to scan Facebook and see if there was any good news in my friend’s lives back home. Mom and Dad always ridiculed the social network, saying it would be the death of all of humanity, so it was fun catching them enjoying a joke or a posting on there just to throw it back in their face.

  “Thanks for destroying American culture with this tripe,” I would cry, laughing the entire time. Their faces would redden and they would defend that they were just keeping up with Tyler and me and making sure we were not putting anything too bad on there. As I skimmed through the few posts from my friends that were about 1800 miles away, I soon felt disconnected with my old world. Our little neighborhood was such a good little community that we never felt like we needed to use Facebook to keep up with each other. We could just as easily have stepped out on the veranda and talked to our neighbors, or walked down to the local deli or shopping market. That’s what we we
re used to, but here in Texas, where everything seemed to be a twenty minute drive, I could see why the social internet was so helpful to people.

  The little red box at the top of the toolbar popped red and I noticed that I had a new friend’s request. Scrolling across it, I saw Lizzy Peet’s name appear. I smiled to myself just a little bit and accepted her friendship.

  “My first new friend...at the loser’s table,” I snorted.

  Hey, you on? She asked.

  Yes, what’s up? I typed back.

  You, that’s what’s up. Everyone is talking about what you did today at school. Jody was so angry! LOL. They are destroying you on here.

  Yeah, figured as much. As long as they don’t physically assault me again, I’ll be fine.

  Well, watch out for that 2. These girls here are brutal curse words.

  LOL. Thanks for your support. See you tomorrow at lunch.

  K. I mean it, though. B safe and watch out for yourself.

  I will. Thanks.

  God, it was only the end of the third day at school and the mean girl mafia was out to get me. Maybe I shouldn’t have kissed Brad like that. I knew that would push Jody over the edge, but she was on the brink, anyway. So she was now attacking me on Facebook? Well, it only seemed appropriate, like the whole teenage thing to do. I sighed. Maybe I should have just apologized after she caught me talking to Brad in the first place. I still didn’t think I did anything wrong; he was helping me up for Pete’s sake, but maybe in her little narrowed mind it did look like he or I was flirting. And today, sitting in his lap, kissing him like I did, the whole was it good for you comment. Jeez, now that I think back, I would have wanted to kick my butt, too. Was there enough of a miracle that we could actually talk this out and make amends? She was in that little religious group. Didn’t they teach her that an eye for an eye left the whole world blind? All of it had gone far enough and I really didn’t want to spend the next year-and-a-half fighting with some girl that seemed to run the school even as a junior.